Parents always seem to be at crossroads about how to bring up their kids in the best way. They face the same dilemma when they’ve to correct their child’s behavior. While some parents believe in disciplining their kids when they behave badly, others may resort to punishing their child who is at fault.
No wonder the latter lot of parents often end up resorting to spanking the kids, withholding their favorite toys from them, or sending them to their room to punish for their unruly behavior. By doing so, they may superficially believe that they have remained successful in curbing the bad behavior. However, do you know that punishment can never make your child disciplined, responsible, or well-behaved!
Child psychologists suggest that punishment only brings temporary results and actually ends up doing more harm than any good to the psyche of children. That’s why we, at Sapphire International School, one of the best CBSE schools in Noida, not only advise our respectable parent fraternity to never resort to punishments as a way of disciplining kids, but we also follow suit.
So, before we move on to offering you some tips on what you can do instead of punishment, let us see why punishment is never advisable for you and your children.
Why Should You Say No to Punishing Your Kids?
Here are some reasons why punishment is not deemed to be the right approach as part of the child-upbringing process.
- Damages your relationship with your child
We understand that whenever your child misbehaves or hurts you, you might feel the urge to strike back with a punishment. But trust us, you need to resist this feeling! That’s because by harboring these negative emotions, you end up damaging your relationship with your child – sometimes irreparably. Moreover, such outbursts could lead to physical injuries and other serious consequences as well, which will make you feel guilty about your actions later on.
- Keeps them from being self-disciplined
One of the key responsibilities of parents is to enable their children to make decisions based on their experience. But you must remember that they will never know the difference between right and wrong if you only punish them and do not explain the consequences of their actions to them. Moreover, if you often punish your child, he/she will not learn self-discipline and develop a sense of empathy. And you will have only yourself to blame because you never talk to them about these vital matters.
- Leads to psychological issues
Not many know this, but if you keep punishing your child often, it affects the mental health of children and may lead to some serious psychological issues later on. They may feel that you do not love them or that something is wrong with them, although that may not have been your intention.
- Only promotes fear and not respect
If you do not want your kids to be afraid of you, then avoid punishing them. That’s because a fear-based relationship only drives children to behave themselves when you’re around out of fear. However, they continue with their unhealthy behavior behind your back.
What’s the Right Approach Instead of Punishment?
- Be loving toward them
Try this: tell your child that you could use a hug the next time they throw a tantrum. When you do so, your child will rush to hug you and show you some affection. Even they will forget the reason for their misbehavior.
- Probe into the reasons for their misbehavior
Look for a good time to talk to your child to know why they’re misbehaving. If they feel that you’re ready to listen to them, they will share their reasons why they behave in a particular way.
- Teach them to apologize
Always remember, if you think you’ve made a mistake, don’t feel shy to say sorry. Going by your example, your kids will also learn that making mistakes is normal, and apologizing only helps to make things better.
- Decide the rules together
Sit down with your child and set the rules together. Incorporate their suggestions and add your own limits when it comes to doing household chores or how much time they should spend watching television.
- Teach them to be responsible for their actions
The next time your child spills a glass of milk, do not punish him. Instead, you must show them how to take responsibility for their actions. So instead of scolding or punishing the child for his action and cleaning up the mess yourself, ask your child to own up the responsibility for his actions and clean the mess by himself.
On a concluding note, we, at Sapphire International School, ranked among the best CBSE schools in Noida, firmly believe that punishment never gives the desired results. So, why not take a different approach? One of the best strategies when it comes to disciplining the kids is to have a balanced approach. Avoid reacting impulsively and without thinking about the consequences. Try taking a deep breath and closing your eyes for some time before taking any action. Put yourself in your child’s shoes, and now imagine how you would like to be treated to get some particular tasks done? We are certain that you will never go wrong if you think with a calm and relaxed mind.